1st Peri Appt

One week ago I had my appointment with my peri. Not really being sure which one of the group of doctors I would see, I was so glad that it was the same doctor I had with Julia. She walked in with a huge smile on her face and told me that when she saw my name she knew she had to come in and not send the resident. She knows everything that we went through with Julia. She knows all my medical history, she knows the grief we went through, and even though she never said it and can't b/c she is a doctor, I know she was really upset and devastated like we were when Julia died. Of course, she did tell us how sorry she was, but I already knew, I could see it in her eyes, hear it in her voice.

She has such great optimism that this time everything will be okay. The plan: although there is a chance I will have another placental abruption there is a really good chance everything will be okay. I go to see her in another two weeks for a routine checkup and then at 18 weeks for the anatomy ultrasound. After that, another three weeks and then monthly if everything looks okay. Of course, if anything happens, those plans will change.

Being a placental abruption we are dealing with here, there are no indications of when it might happen, and hence the more spread out appts. But I am okay with that. As long as I get to see my baby and hear the heartbeat I will be happy.

At my visit last week baby's heartbeat was 166bpm and baby looked great. Baby was moving around a lot and was growing right on target. No indications of anything wrong. Big sigh!


Thankfully, this time around I am feeling more optimistic about things. I just have mother's intuition that things will turn out differently. That being said, I still don't have the urge to tell anybody that I am pregnant. In two days I will be 13 weeks and the only ppl I have told are my family, two dear blogger friends, and a couple of local friends...not even my really close friends. Just today I also told my supervisor at work. You see, I don't want to talk about it. Not with people who don't understand. I don't want the constant stream of questions...How are you feeling? How is baby doing? You must be so happy! Yes we are very happy and feel so blessed, but we are cautiously happy. I just want to keep this all to myself until baby is born safe and sound and in my arms. Of course, I know that won't happen. So I am keeping it in as long as I can. Wearing baggy shirts helps! I think I may just not say anything...I'm already getting a few belly looks, but what's a few weeks more?